A Few Hours
by thewonderwomenpost
Summary: For x-clownsdontbounce-x and YouCan'tControlMe's Victorious Prompt week. First prompt a few hours. A few hours can change on how you look at things quite drastically.


For YouCan'tControlMe and x-clownsdontbounce-x's Victorious Prompt week.

**A Few Hours**

I was sitting on the bed, the door was securely locked. Tears where running down my face. Once again had she let me down. Once again had she just left me for another. All I had done was to show her love, why couldn't she just stick with me? It had been several hours since Jade had taken me to the side and told about her amazing date with a certain brunette, it had been several hours I had pretended to be okay with it. Several hours hiding the tears. Why couldn't she just settled down with me? Why was I so bad? Why couldn't she love me?

I didn't want to be abandon once again. I didn't want to see her go through all the love and heartbreaks whom comes with a relationship. I would never break her heart neither would I ever fulfil her desire of love. It was just so bloody unfair, why did she fall in love with Beck and not me? Why did she fall in love with Tori but not me?

My breathing had started to be more laboured and it seemed like I couldn't get enough air into my lungs because of it. It seemed like my body felt it was more important to sob then to breath. And maybe it was? Maybe I shouldn't be happy all the time? Maybe I should let her go? But I loved her. I wanted her. But yet never was I allowed to have her.

There was a light knock on my door. Whoever it was they could wait. Because all I really wanted was her. Why couldn't she love me the same why I did? Wasn't I worthy of her love? Was I just someone to have as a pet? Was I just someone she had to have left because of guilt? What if she didn't like me, but only said I was her friend because else she would be eaten up by guilt. Was I that bad? Was I that obnoxious to be around?

"Kitty, please open up the door. Don't cry," her soft voice pleaded. I only sobbed some more. She was so, so mean. Falling in love with everyone whom wasn't me.

There was another knock on the door, this time a little harder.

"Please kitty, open up. We can talk about it. Are you confused?" She was practically begging me.

And I was confused. Why wasn't I good enough for her to love me? Why was I the one who didn't get to taste Jade's wonderful love? I was her childhood friend, it is I whom is supposed to get it. Not some meanie whom enters her life way too late to deserve it. It is I whom deserves it. No one else. Not Tori. Not Beck. In the end they'll just break her heart. In the end it is just her whom comes to me, wanting comfort. But yet in the end it isn't enough for her. My love for her isn't enough. Because I'm not worthy of her love. I'm not worthy of anyone's love.

"If you don't open up this door within ten minutes I'm breaking this door," she threaten. It was supposed to be mean and scary. Making me obey her commands. But she had too much worry, too much of concern in her voice to make it believable.

If she was so concern over me why didn't she love me? I loved her with all my heart, I had always showed it to her. I had always been there for her. Yet it was I whom had to go when a new lover showed up in her life. It was I whom wasn't worth anything even though it should be me whom is worth everything and more. But why was it like that? Was I a monster? Was she ashamed of me? Why didn't she love me?

"Okay kitty, I'm going to get the screwdriver and then we'll talk," she said with so much determination it was almost scary.

But I didn't want to talk. I didn't want to hear her explain herself as to why she fell in love with Tori. I wanted to hear she loved me. That I was her favourite girl. But she would never do it. Because I wasn't worthy of love. Because I was a monster. Because that has to be it, hasn't it? That could be the only logical, reasonable reason as to why she doesn't love me when I have shown her nothing but love. I can't be loved back. And I'll just have to live with it.

Getting up from the bed I locked up the door and open it up. Jade came rushing in, examine me. Like it was I whom was hurting myself. I looked up into her eyes, those eyes whom I had fallen for.

"I'm okay," I croaked out.

"Do you want to talk about it?" She asked, with that concern for me. Why did she had so much concern for me when I wasn't worthy of it?

"No," I said, trying to get control over my voice.

"Do you need a hug?" I needed a hug but I didn't deserve one. After all I was a monster that everyone was ashamed of. Monsters don't deserve hugs. Monsters don't deserve to be loved.

I shook my head and sat down on the bed. Staring lifelessly in front of me I though how much a few hours could change one's life. She sat herself down next to me. An arm wrapped around me.

"I love you baby girl, you know that right?" How could she tell me she loved me when she never showed signs of love for me? She showed her love for Beck and Tori but not me. But I nodded. To keep her lucky. Because even though a few hours can change your life drastically, doesn't it mean it can change certain habits you're grown up with. Like always taking care of the girl whom you helplessly love but will never love you back.


End file.
